


By the Numbers

by der_tanzer



Category: Riptide (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-04
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-16 03:57:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2255019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/der_tanzer/pseuds/der_tanzer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Cody brings an old friend home from Minnesota, Nick fears he’s being replaced.</p>
            </blockquote>





	By the Numbers

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a LiveJournal open prompt from Nickygabriel, and posted there for Christmas 2012.
> 
> With special thanks to Valis2, whose calculable help made it incalculably better.

The _Riptide_ was fifty-four feet long but lately it felt like a lot less. Thirty-five, maybe. On a bad day, thirty.

This past week had had a lot of bad days. Murray, who could only watch from the outside, was trying to come up with an equation that would permit there to be ten bad days in a seven day week. He had it worked out to 8.5, but hadn’t been able to push it any further.

It had started so innocently. Cody went home to spend a week with his mom, just as he did every summer. He called home every day and things were fine, for the first two days. Then Cody’s conversations began to revolve around a guy named Adam, who had been a close friend through school. They’d grown apart some when they went to different colleges, and this was the first time they’d been back in Minneapolis at the same time in years.

Nick had never met Adam but he’d heard his name a few times. There were Christmas cards and the occasional phone call. But now it seemed that they were spending all their time together. Adam was recently divorced and taking the year off to write a textbook for his anthropology class. He went sight-seeing with Cody’s family, took them to lunch and dinner, and went out drinking and dancing with Cody in the evenings after the old folks had gone to bed. 

It sounded like they were having a great time, and every day the phone calls became less like conversations and more like Nick listening to Cody talk about how great things were without him.

Murray watched Nick run the gamut from genuinely happy for Cody, through faking happiness for Murray’s sake, and then all the way to sullen and withdrawn. There was a great blaze of hope when Cody called to confirm his flight home the next day, but it was extinguished almost as soon as it was lit. Adam wanted to see the coast and Cody had invited him to come along.

Nick said yes, of course. It was Cody’s boat, it was his home, and he could have any friends to visit that he wanted. He said it cheerfully, sincerely, stressing that if Cody was happy, he was happy. He was just eager for Cody to come home.

***

If Murray hadn’t been there all week that conversation would have fooled him, too. But he had been witness to Nick’s slow decline over the past eight days, and occasionally gotten on the wrong side of that sharp temper and sharper tongue. He knew it was bad. And it wouldn’t get better with Adam, nice guy that he probably was, hanging around.

Nick, unable to sleep and in no mood to think about tomorrow, sat down with a six-pack to watch the _The Hindenburg_ on late night TV. It was the only thing on and he found that convenient. A movie about happy wealthy socialites, some of them Nazis, partying on their way to a fiery death just fit his mood. And the dog survived. Nick liked that. The people could all go to hell so long as the Dalmatian was okay.

He found himself wondering if Cody’s folks had a dog. But this wasn’t his first sixer of the evening, so such thoughts were apt to wander by.

“What’s going on?” Murray asked, coming up from the galley with a root beer and a bowl of popcorn. “Are we watching the movie?”

“Looks like it,” Nick said indifferently. Murray’s eyes widened with the briefest flicker of hesitation, and then Nick moved over to make room. He put the popcorn on the table where Nick could reach it and was reassured to see him take a handful.

“You know it’s going to be okay, right?” Murray said suddenly. “This Adam guy will go home in a few days and everything will be back to normal.”

“What if it isn’t, though? I mean, what if normal isn’t what he really wants? This isn’t his world, Murray. He must remember that when he goes…home. Now he’s bringing that world back with him. How long’s it gonna be before he realizes he doesn’t need me at all?”

“But he _does_ ,” Murray cried, shocked. “Gosh, Nick, you’re his best friend _ever_. Just because he went to first grade with this other guy, that doesn’t make him _better_. All it means is they were born in the same year and lived near each other. Cody _chose_ you. As an _adult_ , when he knew what he was doing. You’ve saved each other’s lives a hundred times. You met in a _war_ , Nick. You’re the closest friend he’s ever going to have. You’re his lover and he loves you like crazy.”

“I know all that. But you don’t understand, Boz. Nothing ever really measures up to the people you grew up with. And he and Adam—they both come from money. Their families know the same people, belong to the same clubs—and they can get into any clubs they want. Places where I couldn’t get hired to wash dishes. Cody can have any lover he wants, too. Someone just like him.”

“No, not someone like him. None of his rich country club friends enlisted, Nick. And they all had their draft deferments in order, too; you can bet on that. He chose to fight because he thought it was right, just like you. You’re the one who’s like him. You’re the standup guy.”

“Then what’s he bringing Adam back here for?” Nick asked plaintively. “If he knows me that well then he knows how it’d make me feel. Am I being punished for something?”

Murray wiped his buttery fingers on his jeans and put his hand on Nick’s shoulder.

“Don’t be like this, please. Cody doesn’t mean to hurt you. Not any more than you mean to hurt him when you play cards with your other friends.”

“Does he get jealous? He never said anything.”

“Of course he does. But you’re not doing anything wrong, and I’m sure he’s not, either. He’s just having fun and he doesn’t know how you feel. Maybe,” Murray added cautiously, “you should have told him.”

Nick shrugged that off along with Murray’s hand. There was no way Cody could not know that hanging out with the richies at the country club, dancing with his mother’s friends’ daughters, dipping back into his old life, hurt Nick deeply. Nick had cut off his past when he threw in with Cody and somehow, unreasonable as it was, he’d expected Cody to do the same. It was true that Cody couldn’t cut out his parents and siblings, but the rest of this wasn’t him anymore. And if it was, then Nick didn’t know where he fit in.

He drank his beer, listening to Murray’s historical commentary on the movie with one ear, and went to bed in his empty cabin when it was over.

***

The real trouble started when Cody got home. That used to be the solution to all of Nick’s problems and it grieved Murray to see that it wasn’t enough this time. The worst part was that it didn’t seem to be deliberate. Cody was just showing his old friend around his new hometown. Nick felt obsolete and unwanted, despite Cody’s sincere invitations, and refused to go along. 

Adam, who had come here for a reason, found the tension between them useful and didn’t try to help. Instead he wheedled Cody into taking him into LA every night, and coming home later and later each time.

After four days, Nick woke to find himself alone. Cody’s bunk hadn’t been slept in and he lunged out of bed in a near panic. His heart raced as he struggled into his jeans and sneakers, and he ran up to the salon without bothering to tie them. He came to an abrupt halt at the top of the steps and stood staring, frozen in disbelief.

Nick decided he was hallucinating. He had to be. If he wasn’t, that meant Cody was really sitting there, slouched on the bench with his head resting on Adam’s shoulder as he slept soundly in his arms. And Nick knew that wasn’t possible. They sat up late talking, when they were home, but Cody didn’t fall asleep here. He didn’t rest easy in another’s arms, ever. And certainly not while Nick slept just a few feet away. That simply wasn’t possible.

Then Murray came up the forward steps and froze directly across from Nick, staring at the bench. So he saw it, too. Then he looked at Nick, his eyes large and frightened behind the thick lenses through which he saw the world. _They may as well have been rose-colored_ , Nick thought randomly. _But they aren’t anymore _.__

__“Oh no,” Murray whispered, and then flushed bright red in embarrassment. “Nick, no,” he said and rushed across the salon as Nick started toward the bench. Murray caught him by the upper arms and was momentarily frightened by the strength of his biceps. Nick could fling him right down into the galley if he wanted to, a fall that Murray was already familiar enough with to dread._ _

__But Nick didn’t throw him. He drew a deep, shuddering breath, his eyes still fixed on Cody, and then all the strength went out of him. He stumbled forward into Murray’s arms and leaned there, bearing only enough of his own weight to keep from crushing his smaller friend._ _

__“It’s not what you think,” Murray whispered, holding him as tight as he could. “It can’t be and you know it.”_ _

__“He’s leaving me, Boz,” Nick whispered back. “He’s leaving me an inch at a time and I can’t stand it.”_ _

__“No,” Murray insisted. “Cody cheating is a concept that can only exist in another universe. In this one, it isn’t just improbable or implausible, it’s actually impossible. It defies the laws of physics, Nick. I’m sure the third law of thermodynamics applies here somewhere, and I know gravity does. Possibly even Asimov’s three laws of robotics. Come on. Let’s go down to the galley and talk about it while I make breakfast. I’ll explain how you two breaking up would violate the rules of heat and energy transference.”_ _

__Nick went down below with him but he didn’t want to hear the science behind the love of his life. Instead he sank down at the table, put his head down on his folded arms and sobbed. Murray cooked ham and eggs, occasionally pausing to pat Nick’s shoulder in mute sympathy. In his mind, Murray was running calculations and figuring odds on who was going to get hit by whom and when._ _

__Although after the last few days, first dealing with Nick’s hammering loneliness and then the unbearable tension that accompanied Adam when he came aboard, Murray would have paid to have it over with._ _

__But if he was looking to place a bet on the outcome, he’d have taken Nick on Adam before noon today, at two to five. The payoff wouldn’t be huge, but it was practically a sure thing._ _

__***_ _

__Cody woke in blissful ignorance of the full impact of his actions. He smelled ham frying, felt a sturdy shoulder under his cheek and strong arms around him, and believed all was well. Right up until he opened his eyes to see Adam’s blond hair and pale, Nordic skin. He lurched upright and looked around frantically for Nick or Murray, or anything that would tell him what he was doing here. Any sign that it was okay. But all he saw was a scatter of beer cans on the table that suggested it wasn’t okay at all._ _

__He leapt to his feet and ran stumbling down the aft stairs to their cabin, hoping and praying that Nick was asleep. Or just still below somewhere, in the shower or maybe dressing. But he wasn’t. Cody ran back up and slammed into Adam in the middle of the salon. Adam grabbed him, just as Murray had grabbed Nick not long before, and they struggled with each other as Cody shouted for Nick._ _

__Adam shook him hard, and then kissed him before Cody recovered his senses._ _

__“What’s going on?” Nick shouted, surprising them both with his sudden nearness. Cody had only had a few seconds to yell but Nick was already there, pulling them apart. Nick glanced at both their faces, taking in Adam’s sneer and Cody’s shock almost at the same time. Then he dropped Cody’s arm and punched Adam in the face._ _

__Murray, watching from halfway up the forward stairs, calculated how much he’d have won if he’d bet his life savings on the favorite and smiled. He hadn’t put any money on it, but he thought he’d probably won all the same. If it kept going this way, they all would._ _

__“What are you doing?” Adam cried nasally. He was on the floor, holding his broken nose as blood poured through his fingers. “Cody, what the hell?”_ _

__“Did you want to kiss him?” Nick asked Cody. He had nothing to say to Adam._ _

__“No,” Cody said, stunned. “I didn’t even know he was going to. Nick, I swear, I had no idea he wanted—that he was interested in me.”_ _

__“You didn’t?” Nick and Adam spoke at the same time, equally surprised. Only then did they speak to each other. “What?” they both said. Cody flushed miserably and Murray laughed. He’d had this scenario down at one in ten. He hadn’t gotten to bet, but he was enjoying it tremendously nonetheless._ _

__“Adam, I told you I was with Nick,” Cody groaned. “How could you… What were you thinking?”_ _

__“You said that, but you always went out with me. You never made any effort to be with him since I’ve been here. Why did you even bring me here if you didn’t want to get together?” His voice, already unpleasantly nasal since Nick popped him, climbed to a painful whine._ _

__“I thought we were friends,” Cody sighed. He went to Nick and put his arms around him, still speaking to Adam but looking only at Nick. “We were friends for a long time. You said you wanted to see my boat, meet my partner. I thought we were just having a good time until you had to get back to work._ _

__“Nick, I’m sorry. I thought you were just being a jerk not wanting to hang out with us. I really didn’t know he was pissing you off on purpose. You have to know I never touched him, Nick. I _wouldn’t_.”_ _

__“You kissed him,” Nick said. He knew the truth, but after everything he’d been through he needed to hear it again. He needed to be sure._ _

__“ _He_ kissed _me_ ,” Cody said, pleading with every fiber of his being for just a little understanding. “I was calling for you Nick. I was trying to get away.” As he spoke, he squeezed Nick tighter and tighter, as if to keep him from escaping. “I’m sorry, Nick. I was thoughtless and insensitive and I’m so, so sorry. Just say you believe me. Tell me you know it wasn’t on purpose.”_ _

__There was no denying his sincere desperation. Nick signaled his belief by hugging Cody as hard as he could, until neither could draw breath to speak. But they didn’t have to._ _

__Adam watched from the floor, still holding his injured nose with one hand, his mouth hanging open in confusion. To the end of his days he would never understand how he had come so close to scoring with Cody Allen, of the Minneapolis Allens, only to lose out at the last moment to this muscle-bound chowder head who still hadn’t lost the last of his low-class New York accent. What the hell had gone wrong?_ _

__He felt a hand under his arm and turned to see the skinny little geek crouching beside him. He looked less violent and Adam was out of options, so he asked him._ _

__“What the hell is going on?”_ _

__“You shouldn’t have tried to get in the middle of this,” Murray said, helping him up. “You ought to wait outside. I’ll call you a cab and pack your things.”_ _

__“Wait, that’s it? Cody invites me out here, that asshole breaks my nose, and now you’re calling a cab?”_ _

__“Like I said, you shouldn’t have tried to get involved. Cody is a one-man man. And you really should get going before Nick realizes you’re still here.” He steered Adam out the door and deposited him on the pier._ _

__When he went back inside to pack Adam’s suitcase, which was waiting under the galley table, Nick and Cody had vanished. Murray smiled to himself as he gathered Adam’s clothes from the floor and the bench where he’d been sleeping during his stay, and stuffed them in the suitcase. Adam’s underwear was all thongs and he’d packed so many condoms Murray wondered if he thought they were rare out here. A weaker man than Cody, or one less afflicted with the tunnel vision of true devotion, wouldn’t have stood a chance._ _

__Murray carried the heavy bag out onto the deck and heaved it over the rail. It landed at Adam’s feet and popped open, spilling thongs across the boards. Murray gave him a wave and went back inside to call the cab. Now he could hear Nick’s voice, low and rough but no longer angry. That was the last thing he needed to know for sure. Murray went down to his cabin, made the call, and settled in to work._ _

__They hadn’t beaten any odds and he knew it. Mathematically, there had been no other possible outcome._ _

__***_ _

__“I never meant to hurt you,” Cody said, sitting down on the bunk as close to Nick as possible. “I didn’t know I was, I swear. We both know you never like my friends. I didn’t know you had a good reason this time.”_ _

__“You didn’t know he was after your ass?” Nick’s tone was mild and his arm around Cody’s waist firm and friendly, but there was still a hint of disbelief in his voice. He was starting to wonder if maybe he’d ignored Cody first and made him want to inspire a little jealousy._ _

__“I didn't even know he was gay. He’s coming out of a bad divorce; I figured he must be straight if he was married. I—I knew I was neglecting you, but—he was my best friend once, Nick. He helped me through a lot of hard times before you and I met. I thought he was really hurting from the divorce and I just wanted to show him a good time. He was supposed to be gone in a few days and then we’d—you know, everything would be normal. None of this was about you or me. I was just trying to help out an old friend.”_ _

__“Okay, I get it,” Nick said, putting a gentle stop to the flow of words. “Baby, I understand. I’ve been pissed ever since you started talking about him on the phone but I never told you. I thought if I stayed home you’d choose to stay with me one night out of four. When you didn’t—I couldn’t ask. I couldn’t risk hearing you say it.”_ _

__“Say what?” Cody asked, his voice trembling._ _

__“That you were leaving me. Going back to your rich family and your country club friends. Come on, you love that crap, man.”_ _

__“No I don’t. It’s fun for a while, but what I love is you.”_ _

__Cody sighed and it came out as a sob. The last of Nick’s hurt and fear vanished with that sigh and he turned to Cody, pulling him into his arms and holding him tighter even than he had upstairs. Cody’s back popped twice and he couldn’t breathe, but he didn’t care. He wouldn’t mind being crushed to death if it was in Nick’s loving, forgiving arms._ _

__But Nick wasn’t about to hurt him. He loosened his grip and pushed Cody down on the bed, kissing him fiercely, possessively, owning him completely. Cody had a split second to realize what he’d been missing, where Nick’s jealous hurt originated: that they hadn’t made love once since he’d been back. Adam had simply kept him too busy. But Adam was gone now, gone for good, and Nick was tearing at his clothes, ruining a perfectly good preppie shirt that Cody didn’t care if he never saw again._ _

__Nick stripped him naked with amazing speed, biting and bruising and marking him, and Cody gloried in his brands. He ran his hands over Nick’s body, caressing his bulging muscles, teasing his heavy sack and throbbing cock, reveling in his ability to elicit such a reaction after all the pain he’d caused._ _

__“What do you want?” Cody whispered. “Anything you want, love.”_ _

__A mischievous smile played around Nick’s lips as he snatched the pillow from beneath Cody’s head and stuffed it under his hips. He lubed two fingers and slid them home, leaning over Cody to study his changing expressions—desire, discomfort, pleasure, all flickering by in rapid succession. When it fixed on desperate need, Nick slicked his cock and slipped into him, thrusting shallow and slow as Cody wound his arms and legs around him._ _

__“That’s right,” Nick whispered. “You hold onto me, baby. Hold onto me with everything you got.”_ _

__Cody dug his fingers into Nick’s hips and pulled him closer, deeper, arching his back and begging for more. Nick gave it to him, long and slow and somehow forceful, loving and claiming, making Cody writhe and plead for the satisfaction he was destined to receive._ _

__In his cramped stateroom at the _Riptide_ ’s bow, Murray felt the gentle rocking of the boat increase and smiled to himself. He wished he had a friend he could trust with this secret. One who didn’t know too much about it. There was a ton of money to be made betting on Nick and Cody to stay the course. Especially for a guy who had the inside track._ _


End file.
